My name is Karen Hawkwood, though I have a lot of nicknames. KJ, or KJ Sassypants, most commonly.
I’m a complicated person, which I used to think made me weird – I just wasn’t very good at hiding it.
Eventually I learned that everyone is complicated, and most of us try to hide it or make it go away, and as soon as we do that we’re tangled.
That’s why I do what I do.
I’ve got a degree in Liberal Arts and another one in Organizational Management, though that mostly means I’m good at going to school.
I’m a Master Certified Life Coach through Martha Beck Inc., which only means that I survived 15 months of training and 4 days of evaluation with a woman who can see through solid defenses like some kind of tiny, ridiculously funny Superman.
I’ve got a brilliant left brain, and it took decades to discover this wasn’t nearly as awesome as I always liked to think. As I discover how much more there is to me, my left brain pouts, but I give it cookies and neuroscience to keep it occupied. Meanwhile the rest of me does the more mysterious parts, and they work surprisingly well together.
One of my favorite quotes is this, from Anais Nin, in which I recognized myself immediately:
“I must be a mermaid, for I have no fear of depths and a great fear of shallow living.”
Those depths have given me an interesting life so far, since I couldn’t really stay away from them, and it’s only picking up speed. I’ve spent over 20 years in partnership with more than one person at a time. I realized I didn’t want to have children. I have moved between the same towns in Colorado and California six times in my life. I started reading comic books as an adult. I grew up without a television and still don’t own one. I have a weird fascination with the Middle Ages.
As hard as it has been to live as a mermaid – our culture doesn’t have a lot of use for fish tails – the more I’ve given up hiding it, the better my strange and complicated life has become. I’ve finally found where I belong, which is helping other people figure out their own strange and complicated natures, and how to stop hiding their best parts too.